Speech
// February 13th, 2009 // 4 Comments » // Academic, Personal
I just got back from a campus-wide public speaking contest. And no, I didn’t win (it went to a fourth year student), or get voted people’s choice. But being one of six finalist was more than enough for me! I was walking around in a suit and heels all afternoon, rehearsing - painful haha. The competition included a 7 minute prepared speech and a 2 minute impromptu speech. I basically talked about 2008 Year in Review (think a sarcastic conglomerate of Sarah Palin jokes and the economy as a metaphorical non-commital boyfriend, deep, I know) for the prepared one. For the impromptu, they gave us the topic on the spot when we’re standing in front of 100 people and we say it right there and then… wheeeeee. If I hadn’t mentioned it already, I find public speaking extremely FUN, thus I voluntarily subject myself to multiple editing sessions, extreme nerves before presenting etc. etc.
On a somewhat unrelated note, the speech below placed first in my high school oratorical contest. Usually I wait at least 12 months before letting ANYONE read a speech in case I get to use it again. This is quite a treat, compensation for not blogging for a while I guess. So just imagine Crystal dressed in full business formal attire, talking dramatically and gesticulating wildly in front of her peers and teachers.
——— Speech: Topic of Choice || Award: 1st Place High School || Apr 2008———
What I hope to shed some light and on today is an issue that has place innocent civilians like us in harm’s way for over half a century. We endure crowded conditions akin to that of sardine packing plants. We endure the loud drunken conversation of private school girls from the back. We endure the continuous wheezing coughs and sneezes coming from the gentleman next to us. We put our lives in the hands of a single man, who, coincidentally has horrible driving skills – why? Because we – we are the riders of public transportation.
For many of us, the process of busing is simple really. Every morning, you sprint to the bus stop and by Murphy’s Law, you miss the first bus by a hair. You spend the next half hour cursing under your breath. When you finally get on a bus, you find yourself without a seat and squeezed between two gigantic backpacks full of books. What are they teaching kids these days?! The Odyssey?! [note: my English teacher was in the audience and we just finished a painful unit on the Odyssey heheh] If they had buses in ancient Greece, Homer would never have finished his epic because he’d still be waiting for the 98 Athens B-Line [98 B-Line is the bus route running across Vancouver].
My parents have this philosophy that says, “the farther away we live from school, the more you will appreciate your learning experience”. The only thing I learned coming from the suburbs every morning was how to glare at someone until they stood up and gave me their seat. Taking the bus can be an enriching experience as we learn to interact with fellow human beings on close quarters while completely ignoring all concepts of “personal space”. Of course there are a few rules we should all observe to ensure the comfort and physical well being of our fellow passengers.
First of all, bringing a live fish on the bus is NOT a good idea. I SAT beside a lady who did that once, and when I got off the bus my friends asked why I went swimming in Steveston [fishing village nearby]. Next, to the band geeks, please arrange alternative transportation if you’re going to bring your trombone home! There actually is such thing as being “stuck between a trombone and a hard place” and trust me, it was not pleasant. Finally, and speaking from personal experience once again, if you know your friend has a history of eccentric and exhibitionist behavior, refrain from letting them get near the nice, straight, shiny poles on the bus. They can dance on their own time!
I have a dream that one day these passengers will rise up and live out the true meaning of their creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women should observe the rules of the bus”. I imagine a future where passengers and their fish, trombones, and shiny poles were happy together. As George Bush once said, “I know that the human being and the fish can coexist!” I imagine a future where seats are given to the elderly. I imagine a future where buses miraculously arrived on time. And lastly, I imagine a future where people didn’t spill coffee on me on the bus – because that was a really important speech that I was writing!
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The end =)
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