The Language of Love
Posted on January 5th, 2008 in Personal |
I noticed something about myself. I display two sides when it comes to conversation - the first, the friendly and hyper Crystal, usually blabs on for ages in front of recently-met acquaintances to make sure the conversation never stops. The second me is the quiet and reserved Crystal, who appears before people I’m really close to, like family and s/o (significant other). Most of my friends are really loud and talkative so during phone conversation, I’m usually the “listener” and rarely have anything to add after the first five minutes where I recap the most exciting events in my life that happened since I last talked to whoever is on the other end. So when it comes to my boyfriend, I find that I’m the more talkative one. Yet because he doesn’t fall under the “recently-met acquaintances” category, I don’t have life stories to pour out to him. I suppose the point I’m trying to make is that he thought I wasn’t talking to him and got a bit irritated.
I find it silly making small talk to people I’m know really well. I think the silence is comfortable. Plus, some of us bloggers tend to be able to be absorbed in our little worlds for hours at a time and never find boredom setting in 
. What worries me though, is what might happen in future relationships. Will I end up with some arrogant jerk who talks non-stop because I’m a good listener? I suppose my being an only child might have something to do with it. Am I unwilling to compromise because I’m not willing to share a part of my life with somebody? Or maybe, am I making a big deal out of nothing when it was just an unfortunate moment? 
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I'm Crystal, a Canadian who thinks she can take on the world simply by getting up each morning. They call me the caffeinated IBer wandering on the Internet. 
17 Responses
Two sides? O.o That seems cool, I think.
Silence is awesome though. I hope you don’t get a jerk for a boyfriend.
I think it’d be an odd moment.
@ Sean - I think so too. I just had to get that out of my system and see if other people had similar experiences. We’ve known gone back to what our friends normally called “mushy moments”
I think it’s important to have different sides to your personality. Not everyone needs to know everything, it’s nice to have a private side.
I don’t think it’s weird at all, it sounds normal and healthy to me! Mind you, I’m a fellow blogger/only child so perhaps I’m not the most objective person, lol!
It’s not weird… IM the same way. most people are :tongue:
Silences are nice, although they creep me out sometimes..
I’m the same aswell. When I’m around people that I think that I need to impress, I barely talk-I just smile and giggle. When I’m around my family or good friends, I never stop talking. :tongue:
I’m never the talkative one in amongst a group of friends, I prefer to be the listener I think.
I think with strangers/acquaintances, I talk enough to keep the conversation going, but I mainly try to illicit responses.
With friends, on the other hand, I talk a lot when I have something to say, and I listen when they have something to say. Conversations always seem balanced.
Now I feel bad, I’m usually the talker. I’ve never heard I’m a good listener either. It’s not a bad thing you’re a listener, it’s a good thing, and I don’t really think anything bad will come of it.
People might think I’m strange because I have this expression :bored: when people are talking but it’s only because I don’t have anything witty to say back.
Yah, I defiantly relate to you like most people. I have a very small group of close friends, then everybody else is just people to talk to. My boyfriend and I talk A LOT though because we don’t see each other every day. If we’re lucky twice a week, actually.
I’m the same way. I like the silence. It makes me comfortable. Then I don’t have to worry about saying something stupid, you know? :cute:
At least you think about these things. Lots of people probably wouldn’t even notice that it could be an issue. Sometimes, though, there are silences.. even in a relationship. Sometimes my fiance and I won’t say anything to each other for hours.. just because one of us is doing one thing or another, and there’s just nothing to talk about at that moment. I do tend to talk his ear off though.. especially right after he gets home from work, even though I talk to him throughout the day or night while he’s at work. Anyway, I don’t think it was anything you should worry about.. sometimes you can communicate without words anyway.
Your words are very different and unique. It’s the first time I heard someone say silence is comfort. For myself, laughter is my true self. I put up a mean front but people who truly know me know me from the inside, and you’re right… sometimes, it’s just nice to be able to just sit there and listen to each other’s thoughts.
I’m somewhat the same way. Like, when I meet new people and I’m in a social situation I force myself to be talkative, or least I try. I say “forced” because I’m socially awkward to begin with. But by doing that it usually brings on a false sense of myself because I’m actually quite reserved and people who know me well, (family, friends, significant other) all know this.
I do believe silence golden. Especially when you are with the ones you love. Sometimes there really is no need for words.
I talk too much for my own good but sometimes I shut myself up so I could listen to friends..
But you know, most guys don’t talk…or listen for the matter.